Poem: I Hate That

I have to keep the razors hidden

     And, most times

     Locked up in the garage


I can't go 24 hours in a house with a gun

     Without...
   
    ...well,

     The rest is too scary


The last time I got punched in the face it was by my own hand

People just think I'm sad

The first time I realized I want to die, I was 11


There are layers of pain

    That just keep adding up


I drink to numb

I am so jaded


Jesus stopped helping with my suicidal ideation in 2013

      But all other ground is STILL sinking sand

- I hate that...